Do you long to be a more confident rider? Confidence is EV-ER-Y-THING. It plays a HUGE role in how you show up and in how you ride. It directly impacts how you perform with your horse. Ironically, it can take a long time to build up confidence and only a few seconds to lose it, so it needs to be nurtured.
When you ride do you have a voice inside your head telling you that you’re no good? Like an inner mean girl…
This negative self talk can have a very powerful effect on your confidence in the saddle. How you talk to yourself affects how you feel and the actions you take. Taking control of this voice will help you take control of your confidence and your riding.
Regardless of your experience and skill level rest assured you’re not a precious snowflake and your scenario isn’t unique! I promise you that there are plenty of people out there (at all levels!) who suffer with confidence issues.
Here are 13 ways to become a confident rider;
1. Become aware of your thoughts
The average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts every. single. day and about 80% of these thoughts are negative! Most of these thoughts focus on the past or the future; reliving mistakes we’ve made, planning ahead or worrying. When you consider that negativity is four to seven times more powerful than positivity. Read that again. NEGATIVITY IS 4-7 TIMES MORE POWERFUL THAN POSITIVITY!
Then add to that the fact that if you say something out loud, it’s 10x more powerful.….
Don’t panic though, the good news is that when you recognise your thoughts, you can change them.
2. Write down your thoughts
“Thoughts disentangle themselves passing over the lips and through pencil tips.“
Anonymous
When you write down your thoughts, you can look at them more objectively. When you do so, notice how often you use words like ‘never’, ‘always’, ‘should’ and ‘can’t’. Look at what proportion of your thoughts are negative? This could show up as whining, blaming, justifying, complaining, or judging (yourself or others). Remember you’re not the only one to have these negative thoughts, but changing your way of thinking will have such positive effects on your ability to be a confident rider.
Let’s take action! Grab a notebook and think about your riding. Write down all the things you’re good at. This might be a difficult process, but try to be as objective as you can. Everyone has strengths and writing them down reminds you that you have them!
3. Become your own cheerleader
It’s human nature to skew towards negative thoughts. Historically, we needed to be aware of danger, usually in the form of potential predators. So we evolved looking for danger. Consequently, we are very good at creating negative stories in our heads about future outcomes. The good news is you can change your thought patterns to focus on the positive possibilities, not the negative ones. Become a cheerleader, not a critic.
Often we treat ourselves with much less compassion than we would ever give to a friend. So, when your internal voice starts, ask yourself would you say this to a friend? If not, then don’t say it to yourself.
4. Reframe your thoughts
Do you find yourself thinking the same negative thoughts over and over again? Maybe your self-talk keeps telling you “I’m so rubbish at shoulder in, I’m never going to get it right”. Give yourself a break and remember everyone had to learn at some point, even the riders you look up to. So let’s get proactive and take your most prevalent recurring negative thoughts and make them positive. Re-framing these negative thoughts into a positive messages like “Right now I’m learning, if I keep practicing and ask for help I will improve”. This allows you to take control.
You can actually only think about one thing at any time, so you need to consciously prioritise the positive ones.
5. Practice, Then Practice Some More
Retraining the way you use your brain requires practice. The more practice you put in, the better the results will be. It’s going to take some effort (especially at the start), being conscious of your negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. But the more you practice it, the more implicit it will become.
6. Set Goals & Create A Path
Set yourself a goal. What do you want to achieve? Go to a show? Or ride on your own? Canter in an open space? To jump higher or step up to the next level of dressage tests? It’s important that this is a goal that you really want to achieve, not based on what other people think you should do.
Now how are you going to get there? Break down your main goal into smaller achievable steps. This sets you up to make progress every time you ride. Which will be motivating.
7. Journal Your Way To Becoming A Confident Rider
Every day write down at least one achievement. One thing you’ve done that day to move you closer to your goal? Perhaps your goal is to go to a competition or to hack out. Maybe you write down one day that you rode down the drive at the yard by yourself.
You’re creating momentum when you’re writing these positive steps down daily. It also gives you a sense of perspective when you look back and you can see how far you’ve come.
8. Notice Your Achievements & Celebrate Them
Make a list of your riding achievements so far. These might be competitive achievements, but they can also be day to day things that you’re proud of. Writing these things down and celebrating them makes them more concrete in your mind. With this awareness you’ll be able to start believing in your own abilities.
9. Kindness
Being kind to yourself can often quite difficult to do when you’re struggling to become a confident rider. If you’re in a negative place, with negative self-talk going round and round your mind, it might be hard to break this cycle and start to act with kindness towards yourself. But the fact remains that YOU control what you think so you might as well put the effort in to. Notice any negative thoughts and flip them around.
10. Accountability
Challenging your comfort zone is going to be uncomfortable at times. It might even be a little scary. Because of this it’s really useful to have some support and accountability. If your goal is to ride your horse every day, then having a friend who holds you accountable will help jeep your momentum and can encourage you in your wobbly moments.
11. Team
It takes a village. Surround yourself with positive people who are going to support you and be on your side. Encouraging you when you have a wobble.
12. Belief
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”
Henry Ford
Your mind is so powerful. It will work hard to find proof for whatever you’re thinking about. So if you’re thinking ‘I’ll never be able to jump that big’ your mind will look for ways to make that happen. If you’re thinking, “I am capable of jumping those fences”, then you will absolutely make it happen.
13. Don’t be scared to ask for help
It won’t help you at all to struggle alone. Reach out and get qualified advice from an expert to help improve your confidence.
Your family and friends can also be a great support in helping you become a more confident rider.
The BEST news is you have started the journey to becoming a more confident rider. Take small steps, be kind to yourself and celebrate the small wins. Before you know it your confidence will start to build.
Have you ever suffered from a lack of confidence? What helped you become more confident?
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